A Yellow Gal's Tail

Time flies

2008-10-15T09:50:00.002-04:00

Time flies, but not always when you expect it to. Suddenly its autumn, and I have all kinds of leaves and what have you reaking havoc in the back yard. Its time to remove the one year only plants from the garden, and wrap and protect Owee.

I find myself these lazy fall days watching the goings on of my mom, as she prepares for the cold. She dug out my boots last night, all the while cursing our neighbors for the amount of salt they use on the walk way.

I noticed three pairs of boots. One, in a rather strange shade of khaki I'd never seen before. Those are for the new kid, well, my new kid.

Names Virginia. Mom thinks its cute, it reminds me of my grandmother Molly's skin mom Virginia. My skin mom calls her Gin or Ginny, but mostly she calls her the 'GinnyMonster' or 'You little asshat'. Terms of endearment.

You see Ginny and her wombmates are the fruit of my womb. I gave 'em life, and then fed their sorry dirty butts for almost 8 weeks.

Mostly I just loved them and played with them. But since this is my blog, and not theirs, that'll be all the airspace I give to the kids.

Lets talk about me...

Hankering for something a bit out of the ordinary...

2008-07-07T12:29:00.002-04:00

Every get the need to try something new? Pickles and icecream are on my list right now. I also wouldn't mind some licorice on my steak. Mom says I am as big as a barn and let me tell ya, I'm feeling it.

When I am not griping about being huge, I am busy beaching myself on the ceramic tile floor in the bathroom with my head slung over the tub wishing for the days of fit and happy Ruby, not so much appreciating the thick and voluptuous with purpose Ruby these days. Its friggin hot and my boobies hang in the pool.

But every so often, when I'm real quiet, I can hear their heart beating. Wishy washy in my belly echoed by my own heart, and that makes me happy.

The little parasites also started moving around in there, and I sometimes just sit and watch my belly with my head to one side.

I think I'll miss them when they're out...but not once they get teethies. Then they're all yours ma.

Things I wish I could take back

2008-06-29T14:31:00.003-04:00

Today I am totally awash with feelings of regret and ponderance.

I am pondering what I did exactly to my momma and why she keeps poking the heart listening device at my bellies. A girl does not like to have her extras poked nor proded, nor listened in on.

I am starting to regret playing with that nice black dog in New Hamsphireland. While he was very good at chasing and ear licking, I fear my decision making skills were a foul that fine spring day in May. Now I look and feel like a heffer.

Momma says that on July 28, I am going to have puppies. Seriously? I have to wait that long?

Harumph.

Buns in the oven

2008-06-02T13:22:00.005-04:00

Sometimes when its real quiet I like to stare out the window to the sunroom and ponder the meanings of life. Once every now and again I am taken aback by the infinite wisdoms I have come across in that sunroom. Like where Milkbones come from, how Kongs are made and why does Rhys always taste like bottles?

Yesterday as I looked across the yard I saw something I had never seen before.

Owen bloomed.

When my brother and best friend Owee went to doggy heaven in 2005 my mom planted a beautiful shrub in our back garden and every year I watch as she cares for him and talks to him, and he grows and grows and grows. He is by far the most beautiful, showey bush in the garden, growing far larger than the nursery had said he would. But Owe has never bloomed despite all of mum's good care, soil tending and fertilization.

When mom and I got home from our insemination vacation there was Owee, in bloom. Beautiful white fragrant flowers in contrast to his deep green shiny leaves.

I can't help but think that this is an Omen of sorts. I sure hope I have all kinds of babies just like Owee in my belly. That would make momma good and happy.

Momma and I did a whirlwind tour of the east coast last week, we made appearances in New York, New Hampshire, Maine and Massachusetts. I also met the love of my life there, made babies and got to play in the ocean.

I can't shake the feeling that I am the luckiest yellow squirrel in the whole wide world!

Life altering and all that jazz.

2007-11-29T13:38:00.000-05:00

So the time has come for me to have some buns in the oven. Mom says that these are not the kind of buns that have ooey gooey chocolate on top, but more the kind of buns you snuggle and love.

I met a nice man, by the name of Wilson, and he is going to 'knock me up', and my cousin Jordan says he loves Egg Nogg, so it must be a festive time all around.

Mom says that when I am birthin' babies I get extra food and lots of loving and toys. So I guess its a fair trade off to lose my girlish figure, all for the greater good I am sure.

I am courting a nice distinguished gentleman named Tag, who comes from one of the lands 'down under' like Russell Crowe, who threw a telephone at a man in a lobby once and Ernest Rutherford who first split the atom. I hope that Tag does not throw telphones at me, or split my atoms.

On second thought...

Why wind down, when you could wind up?

2007-10-17T22:00:00.000-04:00

So last weekend mom and I went to Tillsonburg, where I got to play with my friend Henry and his mom Felicia, and I also got to see my womb-mate Monte, and his mom, my Auntie Lou and also Monte's new sister Taylor and big brother Jacob.

As you can tell from my big run on sentence, it was an exciting weekend! I also got to be a good girl and make my momma smile when I "Q'd" four times in a row! Qing means you get to run back to your crate house and steal hot dogs, right from the package without getting into trouble.

So mom says we're all done with 'bedience until after my uterus spews forth life. This is an exciting time, cause my mom is feeding me lots, something about making some ovulations.

My pal Henry says he wishes he was going to ovulates so he could get more feeds. Its a good deal Hen, no ifs ands or butt sniffings!

So as our season winds down, I am just starting to wind up. Getting really reliable in the ring. And get this, holding my dumb bell!

2007-10-02T10:06:00.000-04:00

Pedigree indicates what the animal should be;
Conformation indicates what the animal appears to be;
But, Performance indicates what the animal actually is.
Author Unknown

So I was a good girlie this weekend, even my mom said so!

I had four obedience trials, and mom said 'Ruby Roo, if you don't hold your down stays, I will bring you to the Humane Society'.

I didn't believe her.

So I got up and ran to her on my first down of the weekend, but hung it out for the next three, just so she knew I could do it.

The lady who took my picture, the one above, said that mom and I were a 'Good team' while she scritched my ears and belly, so this must mean good things.

All in all, it was a good weekend, the weather was perfect and I was out of the house. What more could a girl ask for?

Three

2007-09-18T22:36:00.000-04:00

Today I turned 3 years old.

A bit bittersweet I guess. Next thing you know I am going to start finding grey hairs and looking in the mirror at my wrinkled up skin while I contemplate Botox.

As it is, I spent the day camped out on the couch waiting for mom to get home and the festivities to begin. I went to obedience class, and PetsMart, where I got a new toy that Rhys repo'd. And also a Princess stuffy and a whole buncha stuff for my scrapbook.

My mom trimmed my nails, and put on my party hat for class tonight, and hooked my 'Birthday Girlie' rosette to my collar. Secretly, I think that everyone (even the cross eyed beagle Hagrid) was jealous it wasn't their birthdays and they weren't half as stylish.

Now all I have to do is get the sound of Hagrid's high pitched scream from when everyone was singing the birthday song, out of my ear or I'll be one of those old bats who are constantly going 'Huh?'.

Don't want to age too quickly. I am already 21 in dog years. Yikes.

Don't tell mom. . .

2007-09-15T01:58:00.000-04:00

So this week, my mom, Rhys and I are 'babysitting' my cousin Pi. This is him.

I have to be honest. Pi is my downfall. At first, (read the first two days) he was just a pest, all up in my business and trying to steal my Kong. But after today, I may have had a change of heart about the little lug.

Today we shared a Jolly Ball and he didn't even try to mount me like I was one of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. We played tuggy and he didn't rip any pieces off of my face, all whiskers STILL intact. (This is me, winning)

Pi's mommy and daddy are going to 'Get hitched' and go to 'Grease' and I can't imagine why anyone would want to do either of these things, but if that means Pi can stay a few days, I guess it can't be all that bad.

Just don't tell mom I am enjoying having another dog around. Sure, its all fun now that she is chasing him around with the shutter machine, and cleaning his ears instead of mine; but when it comes right down to it, I am her little baby, and always will be...

OR ELSE.

P.S. Congratulations Uncle Jason and Auntie Dawn!

When you're good, you're good

2007-09-07T18:28:00.000-04:00

My mom and I had an obedience match this morning at a nice place that smells like rubber in Warren Michigan. I didn't think it was going to be a good day because first of all, Rhys got a peanut butter Kong as we were leaving which I wanted, and second, we were stuck in a hollow place for like an eternity, while my mom kept saying things like 'This is why we never take the tunnel' and 'We are so late!' for like an hour before we got to the rubber place.

So I figured, since mom was so stressed out, I'd be a good Ruby and do everything extra special good for mom, and it worked! When we left, mom said I was so good that I got Bob Evans! She laughed and told the lady at the desk that all through my 3 minutes down stays, I checked myself out in the mirror. So? I am one hot yellow girl I tell ya!

On the way home, mom and I stopped at the park to take some pictures of me in the flowers, but it started to rain, so I went puddle dancing instead.

I have always been quite the prolific puddle dancer. No one, not even my brother Rhys gets so excited about puddles as me.

Now, I just want to go to sleep, cause it's been a very long day and I can barely keep my eyes open.

First things first

2007-09-06T12:53:00.000-04:00

So here I am.

My mom says that I should keep a journal of all the fun things that are going to be happening to me in the next little while, so that we can reflect back on them later. I am thinking that would be a fabulous idea, if I could read or type...or speak English.

My name is Ruby, and I am almost three years old. When people ask my mom what I am, she has one answer 'She is a lab's Lab'. I am a Labrador Retriever. Yellow, not golden, and I am quite the girlie.

I live in Windsor, Ontario in Canada with my mom, Melissa and my big brother Rhys. Rhys is also a Labrador, of the yellow genre, but most often my mom calls him 'Bad dog', and he just loves it!

For the record, I am not a 'Bad dog'. I am a sweet lady with soft velvet ears that are always warm and I also have been told on several occasions that I give the best kisses. I also have a little talent called 'Belly Dancing'.

My mom likes to pretend that she has known me all my life, telling people stories about when I was a baby, and how cute I was. But she didn't know me when I looked like a sunburnt hamster, my first 'Mum' did. But when I was 8 weeks old, something magical happened and my now Mom came and brought me to her house, and I have been her little Ruby girl ever since.

Lately, my mom has been preoccupied with a few things, obedience titles and my future. She keeps saying things like 'I just know you are going to be a great mother'. And I wonder, does that mean I am going to have my own sunburnt hamsters one day? I hope so.

She also keeps telling me that 'You are just never going to be ready for Open'. And I think she means something to do with the white plastic dumbell she makes me hold. It tastes like the toys she lets Rhys play with, cause he eats everything else, including my stuffies.

I don't eat stuffies either.